Thursday, June 09, 2005

Am I a Drama Queen

Sometimes, I think I am a drama queen because I stress my self a lot, and let this taking a lot of my energy and totally had changed my lifeā€¦ There are lots of different women had been raped and under worst conditions such as being raped by their father, brothers, uncles and so on... not as my case. But some of them are lucky because they have supporters, somebody listen to them, not afraid to tell them about their experience... I think the only thing blocking me from healing process is not talking about it. I cannot write because whenever I try to write something, I start having tears in my eyes; stopping me from writing. But I know I have to do it, I must talk about it. At least somebody is reading this and maybe help me by advising me and write her/his thoughts.

22 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I understand. i was raped last year...and its scary not knowing who it was, because he could be the neighbor, he could be the guy down the road, he could be the tourist, or my best friend...

and im still healing, because it still hurts

6:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur not a drama queen. i was raped in feburary and i'm still healing too.. it helps to talk about it trust me.. even tho its hard to, you will feel better.. i would maybe do some research on where you can go and get a rape councelor to help. they are amazing!

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello
First of all I would like to say how much I am sorry that this happend to you. But please be strong do not give up. Take every day as a new day try to overcome what you have experianced. Things will get better. This has made you stonger and better person, even if you dont feel that way wright now. Talk to someone dont deal with this on your own. It's important for you to find a way to heal and thank you for sharing even if this was very difficult.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous jeremy said...

my girlfriend of 4 years was raped by her sisters boyfriend.....he held her down and forced her to have sex while she was drunk she tried to fight and he would punch her in the stomach everytime shed resist his college room mates stood there and watched laughing about it....... She has so much anger built up inside from this and its ruining our relationship. I would like to beat the crap out of him but hes managed to convince her family that it was just sex and no rape...he sister doesnt believe her and neither does her mother.....thats what hurts her the most...i would like advice on what to do. She is my whole world and i love her with every single heart beat my body can pump.... i will do anything to help her begin to heal...please anything will help, i could use any advice on this shes terrified of being alone and wont go around other men if im not there....shes lost over 35 pounds and takes pain pills to get high ....she says its what gets her through it everyday...like i said please help us if you can

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't opened up to anyone about the experience either. Aside from a very, very close friend, but from their past experiences, obviously they really had no words of wisdom to share. I was sexually assaulted in the fifth grade. Before that, I was also clinically depressed, I nearly depricated myself of the very essence of life. After the experience, I felt, more than anything, remorse. Remorse for my robbed innocence, my child-hood being completely contorted in a sense. I was catapulted into a new type of adult-hood and that was no place for such a tender age. It's been only four years since the event took place. I'm out of place among my generation, I can't open up, I have a very hard time regulating my emotions, I've turned to substance abuse, books, education expanding beyond a normal teenager's. I still feel corrupted, betrayed, and un-trustworthy beyond reasonable doubt. It's completely morphed my outlook on life, which is good in a way, I've learned who to trust and who I shouldn't, my abnormal I.Q is only that way due to my inability to express myself through coherent charisma, which leads to the cons, I stutter, I have flash-backs and night-terrors, I was robbed of my child-hood, meaning I grew much too fast. I suppose girls may experience most of the same symptoms.

4:17 AM  
Anonymous recentlypathedic said...

i got raped the other night when i was passed out drunk, i woke up to a guy forcefully having sex with me and screamed and kicked and he would not get off me. i have been laying in my bed the last two days not knowing what to do with myself. when i read this, i felt like it was myself who wrote it because i kept saying to my friend the whole time "i dont want to be a drama queen and cry to you about it" and i fault like i was being over dramatic, and that i seemed so pathedic. so just know, i know how you feel, although i didnt find the solution to this feeling yet, i know i will. i hope i will. just have faith in yourself to feel better, the scumbag who did it will have to feel his guilt of rape all his life.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was raped in february too,whoever posted that.welll two years ago. and its no easier than the day it happened to deal with/talk about it. still get upset everyday and cry everyday. does that happen to you? it wasnt a family member either. somebody random.

5:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the same problem. I have no one to talk to and I dont know how to deal with my anger. I cant even talk to my parents about it. I want my life back

11:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am the same person that wants my life back i just posted that.... also the guy who did it i have to see almost all the time and he still harasses me or tries to talk to me. Last night it happened in front of a million people it happened in Feb will be almost 2 years.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't let what happened to you change who you are. He did this to you once, and if you let what happened change you....then he's doing it to you again. And again and again and again. Definitely talk about it if you need to, and don't if you don't want to. But please sweet darling angel, please be who you are and if it happens to be a drama queen (or not) then be that and who cares what anyone thinks. you're wonderful.

6:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know how you feel i was nearly raped by the grandson of a nursary owner tht i went to worst off i was only four years old i hate the silence because if i was silent i would have been raped im twelve now and i still have nightmares

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was raped 2 years ago by my bestfriend and her brother, i am now 14. i try so hard to move on and forget the past but i cant, i feel like a complete drama queen cause i cry about it and write songs about it. the guy who raped me is now back were i live, and he told me he is going to do it again if i ever am alone, the only person i feel safe with is my boyfriend, he was cuddling me the other night and i was asleep, the dream was alright, right when he moved his arm to leave the guy who raped me did it again, and i woke up crying and my boy just huged me and wouldnt let me go, i cant even have sex with my boyfriend with out shaking to death or having flash backs......i need advice.

12:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This might sound stupid,but maybe you can find help on forums(there seems to be quite a few http://www.google.ie/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4ACAW_enSE332SE332&q=rape+forum),I found applied kinesiology helpful for things that I could not talk about,but they were not as traumatic as rape.I want to wish you all the best in your recovery and all the strength in the world,so you dont let some horrible guy destroy you as a person.Best of luck in finding what works for you :)

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, Aisha for all of this. I too am a survivor of rape... and my story is much similar to yours in how it happened in that it was someone I also felt like I could "trust." Many days I too feel like a drama queen, but we are anything but that... something awful happened, and so it is natural to be rediculously stressed, sometimes about things that seem so trivial. You are amazing and strong and a survivor... never forget that! We see the world differently and probably in a more "real" light, after what happened. And everyone is always healing... we just have a different path than others...

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I am really sorry that you have went through this. But I understand completely. I was raped by a guy that I looked at like my brother. My support system was wonderful. This only happened last summer. And I was depressed for months. Finally the truth came out, I couldn't hide it anymore. It was extremely hard. And to be honest it still is sometimes. There is nothing any one can do or say to make you feel better, I know that. Because that's how i felt. It's like you feel like you've done something wrong. But trust me, nothing you did could have changed the fact that he was a loser... Keep your head up. I know it's extremely hard to talk about it, but in time it will get easier. I promise..

8:00 PM  
Blogger Africa said...

i was raped too but it was hard to talk about it but when i realized the stress is too much for me and why i fail my test at school i talked to my teacher i trusted then she told me to go to home affairs when i get there and talk i started to think why i have been waiting so long.although it is not easy to forget but now i know it was not my fault and I'm coping with life.

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The problem i faced when I'm with my girl friend i thought of what happened to me then i can't perform.it only d problem for now and don't know what should i do i need an advice

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i got raped when i was 14 , it was by 3 guys and its hard to forget i remember everything its like the memory never goes away , i just turned 19 hoping the pain would finally go away but its just getting worse i used to cut myself , ive been to counselling ive done everything and the pain still wont go away please if anybody has advice help me, i honestly dont want to live anymore , everyday is a struggle right now im balling my eyes out writing this , i just want help.

11:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

listen, i dont know who you are or what happened to you, but for me, i HATE the word rape, i fund you because i feel like a drama queen. I wont use that word, i still cant admit that that was what it was. none of your comments, none of you "words of hope" did anything for me. Talking about it doesnt help...it makes you relive what that sick sob did and it puts that image in someone elses head. youre not gonna feel better and someone telling you how you should feel a year down the road isnt gonna help you. all this shit i find on the net is about how i am supposed to feel years down the road, how the fuck are you supposed to deal with the everyday here and now. yall are so damn smart and versed on the subject...well then someone fix me in the now

3:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was reaped 2-3 years ago. I'm 15 now and wish I could stop with my depression. I paint a smile on my face for the rest of the world so no one asks me dumb questions like,"are you okay?" and stuff. I don't even know who raped me. Only a few know and the ones that don't, make jokes out of it. People think I have issuse, but it's all because of some guy that raped me. He dragged me into his hotel room. If I didn't escape, I wouldn't be here. I'm sorry about what happened to you:( </3

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are definitely not a drama queen! I was raped 10 years ago by my partners friend (my partner had died a year before) so I was trying to function as normal as possi ble. I did go to rape counselling 4 years later and it was only then that I also told my family and friends. I was really affected badly by the rape and over the years have lived in fear, have severe depression and anxiety. I went to a psychriatrist for 5 years and am still going as I now have rape related post traumatic stress disorder. I am better now although I cannot have any relationships because the past is so painful and I do not trust men at all even today! I think about it alot and have recurring nightmares as well. It's been hard to live thru this but without counselling I don't think I would have survived. Go and get help if u haven't already. Good luck and remember you are the victim, you have done nothing wrong. Good luck.

2:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are not a drama queen. You were raped and more than likely have PTSD. I still get teary eyed and bad days and flashbacks more than 7 years later. When you say "it wasn't as bad as some" you are discounting what happened to you. You were raped! That is a very traumatic thing. I can tell you that talking about it has helped immensely. I also did an outpatient program, got on some meds and went to counseling. It has taken a long time to start to heal and I am not sure I ever will be the same. Every post I read on here was very sad because no one thought it was extraordinary that it happened to them. It is a crime! The only way to raise awareness is to talk LOUDLY and be heard. Don't be embarrassed and don't think you are being dramatic.

10:02 PM  

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